The Polish Joke
By David Norton, LPC and Paula Norton, MA

One day right before practice I noticed the boys congregating around an older
swimmer in the locker room – a 16 and a half-year- old expert on relationships and
women. He was bragging about his sexual conquests and offering advice to the
younger swimmers on the secrets of seducing women. Any adult knows that a
Junior in high school would had invented those sexual exploits and his advice was
based on things he had heard from his father, uncles, and other older men. I
interrupted the meeting and I said to the boys, “When I was your age all I thought
about was sex. This is how boys are wired at your age. But I want to pass along
some wisdom to you kids: although sex is important and a wonderful thing, it’s
more important to focus on someone to fall in love with and letting them fall in
love with you – and trying for as long as you can not to screw that up.” To my
surprise, the kids paused to think for a minute and accepted this, mumbling “Yeah
Coach, you’re right.”
I said, “This talk about picking up girls reminds me of an old joke. Stan and Gino
were best friends. Gino was handsome and popular and had many girlfriends.
One day at the beach, Stan said, “What is your secret, Gino? Is it your dark hair, is
it your gold chains? How come the girls like you so much?” Gino said, “Stan, I’m
gonna let you in on my secret. Every day before I go to the beach, I put a big
potato in my bathing suit. When the girls see that bulge, they want to get to
know me.” A few weeks went by and the two friends ran into each other in the
locker room. Stan said to Gino, “I tried the potato, I went to the beach, and every
girl I tried to approach ran away from me. Is that some kinda joke you pulled on
me?” Gino replied, “Stan! You’re supposed to put the potato in the front of your
suit, not the back!” The boys found this story hilarious, several boys yelled,
“We’re gonna try that, Coach!” and they laughed together as they made their way
to the pool for an easy practice before our meet the next day.
The school where I was coaching had recently undergone restructuring at the
administrative level. There was a new principal, vice principal, and athletic
director. They were making a lot of changes in staffing including coaches and
replacing them with people sympathetic to their new administrative style - more

militaristic, strict, punitive. This was not a good philosophical fit for me and for
the first time I felt that my coaching job at school could be in question. I received
a memo that this new triumvirate would be attending our next meet to evaluate
my job performance. For this particular meet, we were hosting a Catholic school.
Their coach was a priest, and their manager was a nun. At this point in the swim
season, my kids knew what to do in the water, and our student managers ran the
meet like pros. I went into the stands to sit with the new administrators for a
moment and welcome them to the pool. As I spoke with them, my back was
turned to the pool, and I could hear my swimmers warming up in routine fashion.
The conversation stopped suddenly when I noticed the principal pointing angrily
at one of the swimmers. The other two administrators began gesturing at other
boys, looking concerned and upset. I turned around and saw that several of my
swimmers were promenading around the deck with large potatoes bulging from
their racing speedos, some in front, some in back… When I saw this, I burst into
uncontrollable laughter – much to the outrage of the administrators who did not
find it funny in the least. I explained that it was a silly joke and the administrators
demanded that I go immediately go to the deck and command the boys to
remove the protuberances. “Stop this disgusting, disruptive behavior!” were the
exact words the principal used. I went down to the pool deck and very calmly told
the boys that the principal was upset and to remove the potatoes from their suits,
which they reluctantly did. I could not help laughing as they filled the locker room
trash can with wet, chlorine soaked potatoes. We went on to win the meet easily.
The next day, I was summoned to a meeting with the principal, the vice principal
and the new athletic director. The athletic director and I had not been formally
introduced and when I heard his full name, I realized he was of Polish descent – as
am I – and that explaining last night’s joke was not going to go well. The three
men glowered at me. This reminded me of my old days in Catholic school, and I
felt like asking them to please not tell my parents. I wondered if they would rap
my knuckles with a ruler or make me stand in a dark coat closet or miss recess.
After a lengthy dressing down and negative critique of my inadequate team
discipline, they demanded to know what improvements I was going to make in
terms of “taking command” of my team. I assured them I would locate the
culprits responsible and that they would be punished with extra laps, sit-ups and
push-ups. They wanted the boys involved kicked off the team, but I saw no value

in robbing these kids of healthy exercise and a supportive network of peers. It was
almost the end of a successful swim season for these kids and I could not see
ending on a sour note because of a playful joke amongst team mates. I could see
that our philosophical differences were too great, and I realized my days at this
job were numbered.
This administration was brought in as a response to the violent tragedies and
shootings at schools around the nation. Their commonly held notion was that
punishment, discipline and structure would produce safety. Unfortunately these
increased security measures come at the cost of creativity, personal expression,
fun, attachment and bonding, and generates suspicion, judgement, and mistrust.
Throughout his career, Milton Erickson was a warrior who fought for the
acceptance of hypnosis. Several times during his career, conservative
administrators refused to let him use hypnosis as a tool in his medical practice. In
some states he was not allowed to use hypnosis at all. There was fear of losing
control/consciousness and his approach challenged traditional medical protocols.
Time has shown that his perseverance, creativity, and brilliant insights allowed for
great advancements in the field of psychiatry. In this case, like Erickson, I had to
move on and find a more open environment that permitted humor, bonding, play
and other characteristics that are of value to me as a coach and a human being.